Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily

I haven't been able to read, I haven't been able to write.
I lie on the bed most of the nights staring into the fake moon outside.

There's no where I can go in the day, there's nothing I can do in the flat.
I use to think my room was the heaven I could stay,
But now it is a place I would leave it array with my past, and the starry night.

I no longer could concentrate, on the most interesting book on the shelf.
All I knew was the computer screen profile that says "about me" who I reckon was myself.

There is so much hate and so much laughter dancing in the heart,
pricking me like the cheap fabrics on the arm, and they think I was having fun.
Perhaps, it was the seamless act I've practiced a hundred times,
Giving birth to a new character in this sphere.

I am afraid of death but secretly hopes she sits on my bed before dusk.
Telling me how she would love me to be with her but always decided to leave me to my Mom.

Trapped in a house, I pretend to be a domestic cat.
But always sitting by the window envying the lightness in the other's step.

I vaguely remember being an ambitious person, who could write and run like a reporter.
Yes, she wanted to be journalist who could afford to travel and dance her flamenco,
Like the happiest Aquarius people always thought.

Many a time she imagine her departure, the movies says it comes with a will and signature.
But she realised, there were nothing earned by herself, and thus she has nothing to hand over.
Not even her own departure is to be free, like how shows say it will be.

She understands by writing all these, she might get a lot of attention and concern.
But that is not what she really asks.

Would you leave her alone and not ask her anymore,
Because she is the best actress who only needed space and a moment to cast away, alone.